The little great adventure of Sneezer

ELIZABETH SEGOVIANO

-Even the smallest creatures can have great stories, and perform incredible deeds- … that was what Sneezer used to think, he was one of the last existing great dragons … well, to be honest, Sneezer was not exactly great or big, but he was a dragon, it was enough to see him sneeze to know it, because every time he did it, huge flames came out of his nose and mouth (which was too big … for such a tiny dragon).

The real problem was that Sneezer was allergic to everything … well, okay, perhaps I am exaggerating, Sneezer was only allergic to flowers, all of them! (Even the ones made of plastic) he was also allergic to peanuts, strawberries, to raspberries, blueberries, to apples, dust, to perfume … he was allergic to soap, but only if it was blue, he was allergic to wool, polyester, to seafood, Roquefort cheese (but not to cheddar cheese!) he was allergic to birds, feathers, to grass, tap water, to cats, insects, to dogs … well, he wasn’t really allergic to dogs, he was only really afraid of them. Sneezer was also allergic to fairies, goblins, and even to Santa’s elves, he was allergic to Christmas decorations too … but only if they were made of Chinese plastic … so … Sneezer was allergic to almost everything, and that was the reason why there had been so many accidental fires, so you can guess Sneezer was not very liked and he almost never was invited to parties, or picnics … but he was invited to all barbecues! … But most barbecues took place during summer time, when there were lots of bees and pollen floating in the wind and that caused him allergies so … Sneezer preferred no to attend.

Sneezer had looked for doctor’s help but when they saw he was a dragon … (a tiny one, but still a dragon) they feared him and didn’t even want to see him, that situation made Sneezer cry, and he was allergic to tears, and puffff the result had been a dozen doctors with burnt eyebrows.

Since then Sneezer decided to wear a soft mask made of hypoallergenic fabric and he began to clean his house constantly with purple soap … that did not make him sneeze and he spent his days working at home, designing web sites, because nor computers neither internet made him sneeze.

That’s how he found a blog called “the manual of dragons, a draconic guide that all dragons most read”. Sneezer really enjoyed reading that information because he thought it was invented and it seemed very unlikely that a blog made by children could contain any truth in it.

Each Friday the kids updated their blog, and they talked about all the different races of dragons, and about the great amazing dragons that had existed throughout history, they also made drawings and sketches of dragon skeletons and wings. They also talked about the favourite food of dragons, their hobbies and traditions and so on and so on.

And each Friday our little dragon had lots of fun reading the new information and he always posted a comment on each new entry and signed it as sneezerdragon.

But then one Friday there was no new entry, and another Friday and another Friday without new information, that seemed a little odd to the tiny dragon who had become very fonder with the authors of the blog and he missed them, and he tought the kids maybe had gotten tired of talking about dragons. Nevertheless the little voice in Sneezer`s head was saying something wasn’t right, so he sent this message:

Dear draconologists,
I really miss your stories and your helpful information. I hope you comeback soon, greetings, Sneezer the dragon.

When Sneezer signed his message with that name someone tought he was a real dragon and this was the answer he received:
Sneezer the dragon,

If you ever want to know from your nosy draconlogist friends come alone to the old belfry of our lady of the sacred choppy pigeons, if you do not come you can kiss goodbye to your little friends.

Sincerely, Sir Drakon Blacken Tongue.

When Sneezer read those words he got scared, was that a joke? Was it really happening? Was it possible? And why that strange name sounded so familiar?

Our little dragon decided to enter the strange name on Google and immediately he knew why it rang a bell on n his head, Drakon Blacken Tongue was the name of an ancient dragon who had stalked the old continent, his brutalities had been documented in medieval books that disappeared mysteriously. And Sneezer`s friends had talked about him on their last entry.

Sneezer decided that the situation as crazy as it seemed, was completely real, so he gathered all the key information that he could and took his backpack and a couple of hypoallergenic masks and he went to the old belfry of the lady of the sacred choppy pigeons.

The old abandoned tower was spooky, dark and full of spider webs, with strange noises Cumming out of every corner, but Sneezer was determined to rescue the kids so he made his way with a flashlight on one hand and his disinfectant soap on the other one.
Drakon Blacken Tongue! –Shouted Sneezer- his voice filled the air with echoes that seemed to wrap him like the bandages of the ancient mummies.

Alter a long time he finally heard some murmurs by the end of a dusty crooked hall.

– Is SIR, SIR Drakon Blacken Tongue, a title I earned –Sneezer hid between the missing bricks on a wall, he tried to calm down and he opened his backpack very carefully then, he tried to sound like a real great dragon-

– A noble title without a doubt, one that was given to you centuries ago for protecting a kingdom, back when you still had honour, but, I see with great sadness that those times are long gone, tell me what kind of Sir would threaten kids? What honour is in such act? The draconian code is very simple, a dragon must be fair, protect the weak and the innocent, and most of all a dragon has to be honourable, now you are nothing but a vulgar criminal!!!

– Honour??? You dare to talk to me about honour??? What honour do they have? Those pretentious arrogant kids calling themselves draconologists!!! My God! What right did they have to tell our secrets and to expose our story???

– They are just children!!! Innocent children who admire dragons!!! Children who dreamt of those ancient stories of knights and dragons who Project and watch over kingdoms!!! Children who had nothing but admiration for a legendary dragon named Sir Drakon Blacken Tongue!!!

– Those children dared to climb my mountain, to look for my den, they took photographs and they expose me on their stupid blog … in a heartbeat I had strangers Trading to get to my home, in any moment they are going to find you too and we will end up in one of those monstrous laboratories surrounded by cruel doctors and crazy scientists who are gonna cut us open to study us, if you want me to give you those idiot kids back, you are gonna have to walk over my dead body!!!

– SIR … Sir Drakon Blacken Tongue … such grandiose name for a dragon, grandiose … is amazing that you are afraid of a few kids … but if this is what you want then … SO BE IT!!!

Sneezer came out of his hiding place and when Sir Drakon saw him he laugh long and hard, a laughter that could have go round and round the world, Sneezer the dragon was no bigger than a lizard, he was skinny, pale and wore glasses and a scarf, and he was holding a ridiculous sword made of carton board and a bottle of soap.

– Are you going to disinfect me to death Sneezer??? Ha ha ha ha with that ridiculous name I should have known you were nothing but a mockery, a joke! Now beat it, and leave alone and stay out of my business!

– In this case Sir Drakon, your “business” are my business – then Sneezer spread his tiny wings and he flew to the face of the huge dragon to sprayed him with the disinfectant right on the eyes, Sir Drakon squealed and he walked away rubbing his teary eyes, but Sneezer did not step back, he took away his hypoallergenic masks and he stuck his big mouth in his backpack. In it there was a bouquet of dandelion flowers, the flower he was most allergic to, he also had some Christmas decorations made in China, a bunch of strawberries, a bag of blue soap, a wool sweater and two punds of shezuan pepper. The smell inside the backpack went deep into Sneezer`s nose and he twisted, growled, jumped, howled, he twisted his eyes and his belly began to swell like a a party balloon. Before such vision Sir Drakon was confused and when he wanted to run away from Sneezer a sneeze of epic dimentions came out flaying like a cannon ball from the little dragon`s nose at ten thousand miles per hour. And with it the flames that follow were huge and colorful … and he wouldn`t stop sneezing.

– AAAASSSSHUUUUUUUUU ….. AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHUUUUUUUUUUU –each sneeze brought more flames that were surrounding Sir Drakon Blacken Tongue, who could not see where he was stepping, and heat was unberable, as if he was in the inside of a mad volcano, and he could only cover up his face.

– I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! –said Sir Drakon craying-

After hearing those words our brave little dragon took out of is backpack a jar of mint lotion, the only thing that could calm his allergies, and the last sneeze was one full of stiky and green mucus that stinguish the flames.

– Where are the children?

– Oh, oh, oh, oh poor me! –said a very burnt Sir Drakon- I had never felt such heath and I am a dragon, oh, oh, oh, oh! Your friends are on the basement … oh , oh, oh!

– Calm down and come with me, you will be staying at my place until you feel better, and we will find you a new mountain, I will ask my friends to tell everyone that all the stuff they wrote are nothing but invented stories, and that the pictures of your den were made on the computer, after all we do not want to end up in one of those lab jars … but I will not call you SIR, you do not deserve that title, you are gonna have to earn it again.

– Oh, oh, oh, oh poor me! … allright … I did not behave like a dragon … oh, oh, oh, oh poor me!
That day our little great heroes rescue the children and together they looked for a new home for Drakon Blacken Tongue, who grave his title of SIR to our little friend … Sir Sneezer, guardian of all children, reader of fat books, commenter of blogs and a big fan of purple disinfectant.

The end
Elizabeth Segoviano © copyright 2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Ilustrasted by Elizabeth Segoviano

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